I love my boys with a ferocity that I would never have guessed before I became a mother ... but sometimes they make me want to rock in the corner, with my eyes closed, while humming tunelessly.
There is very little sweeter than little-boy arms wrapped around your neck, that little bundle on your lap, or a bigger boy nestled against you ... but sometimes I read their bedtime story at the table because I can't stand the thought of anyone touching me.
The first "mama!" is a wonderful sound ... days of unending "mama! mama! mama!" occasionally make me wish for earplugs.
I love that they all enjoy books ... but sometimes I hide the one we've read three times a day for a week.
Their sleepy faces, with pillow creases still on their cheeks, delight me every morning. But when the morning is spent squabbling, whining, and/or sobbing hysterically about every wrong (both real and imagined) naptime is a most welcome time of day.
I love the sound of their voices, their laughs, the ideas and stories and questions that flow in an endless stream from their minds ... but sometimes I need them to just. be. quiet.
I used to think that parenting was all about teaching my children. I've come to believe that God also gives us children to show us the flaws in ourselves, so that He can gently shape and grow us in those areas. How can I think parenting is all about them when it shows me so clearly my own selfishness, impatience, and unkindness?
My boys are a wonderful gift ... even when they are loud, or naughty, or clingy. And part of that gift is the very fact that my reaction to their loudness, naughtiness, or clinging reveals areas I need to change. I can see that clearly tonight. Remind me tomorrow, okay?
3 comments:
Your boys ARE a gift! What a great post. . . .so very true! Praise the Lord for what He does in our hearts as well!
Very sweet thoughts. And my kids have illuminated MANY faults of mine lately. :S
Very well said (written)! I have the same feelings at times. It was hard for me to adjust to the dependancy of a child, and now I can't imagine being with out my children. I have no other desire than to be their mom and help them grow up in the ways of our Lord.
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