How to make brownies

To make Peanut Butter Swirl Brownies:

Decide after supper to make brownies while the baby is napping, the toddler is playing with his father, and the seven-year-old is playing with Legos in his room.

Measure butter, brown sugar, and white sugar into mixing bowl. Turn the mixer on to blend those ingredients while you go pick up the baby who is now awake. Because picking the baby up causes the toddler to lose all interest in playing with his dad, pick him up as well. (Remind yourself that this jealous phase will pass.) Sit for a moment rocking both boys to calm the crying. Give the baby to your husband and take the toddler with you to let him "help" with the brownies. Get eggs and milk out of the fridge while holding the toddler. Sit him on the counter (stand directly in front of him - we don't want any falls!) and shut the mixer off. Give him the same lecture you always do when he's near you in the kitchen. "Don't touch the mixer. It's very dangerous and it can hurt you."

Crack two eggs into the mixing bowl. Measure out two tablespoons of milk and add it to the mixing bowl. Turn the mixer back on, pick up the toddler, and return the milk and egg containers to the fridge.

Avoid running into the seven-year-old who has come to show you how his Lego clean team works. Return to the mixer and shut it off. Hold the toddler because the seven-year-old is now using the counter space that the toddler was sitting on to demonstrate the forklift, truck, and crane that help him pick up Legos off the floor. (They're all driven by little Lego men wearing hard hats. Safety first!) Realize that this is why it takes him so long to pick up his Legos. Get out the flour, baking powder, salt, and cocoa.

Try to pay attention to the Lego demonstration while accurately measuring flour, baking powder and salt into the mixing bowl. (Remember you're still holding the toddler. Don't drop him or let him grab the ingredients.) Mix until blended. Realize seven-year-old is done demonstrating and intends to play with the Legos right there next to you. Ask him to move to the other side so you can set the toddler down on the counter again.

Divide half the batter into another bowl. Pick toddler up and get peanut butter, chocolate chips, and peanut butter chips. Return to mixing area.

Measure cocoa into the batter left in the mixing bowl. Blend. Raise mixer head and reach for a spatula to stir in chocolate chips. Freak out as toddler turns the mixer on. Simultaneously holler, "No, no! That's naughty!", turn off the mixer, and check for injuries. Breathe a prayer of thanks that there are none.

Realize what a mess your kitchen now is. Wash the toddler. Realize seven-year-old has had the sense to vacate the kitchen. Put the toddler down amid much crying as he realizes he's not going to be able to watch anymore. Get down on his level and explain that he was naughty and now he has to stay down. Harden your heart against his pitiful cries.

Shoo the dog out of the kitchen and wash the batter off the floor.

Overhear seven-year-old telling his father (with great delight) that he got brownie batter in his hair but he washed it out. Realize he's coming back into the kitchen to play. Right next to you. Tell him he has to take his toys elsewhere for now as you wash chocolate batter off the counters, cabinets, and your sweatshirt.

Realize there is chocolate being smeared back on the counters. Where is that coming from? Oh, there - you missed a whole big bunch on your sleeve.

Stir in chocolate chips into the batter. Ignore the crying and tugging on your pant leg. Measure out peanut butter into batter in second bowl; mix well. Stir in peanut butter chips. Drop batter in small mounds into the pan, alternating flavors. Put into the oven. Give one child a spatula to lick. Give the other the beater bar from the mixer.




Enjoy the quiet as they enjoy their chocolate.